Hiatus

I'm taking a break from the blog for a month or three. I'm gonna try to write a script. I don't know what it's going to be about, but it'll be fun to do.

Blue Line

 He's sitting next to me in his Pacific Life windbreaker and stained Dockers. He looks like he could've been somebody at one point, but now is another broken man riding the Blue line. His messy hair indicates that today was a long day, and his furious note taking shows that it's not quite over. He's been jotting things down in his notebook since Clark/Lake. We're at California, or as I like to think of it, the last chance for success. 
 Once you get past California on the Blue line, hope begins to dwindle.You've said your goodbye to the business man with both an iphone and a Blackberry. That cute hipster girl has gotten off yet again without your number. After California, you're either a tired immigrant, or a depressed tourist whose vacation has ended. The smiles end after California. All that is left are weathered faces and clunky suitcases. I suppose I relate more with the tourists, for my stay in the world of possibility has ended for the day. 
 As the train moves from Logan Square to Belmont, I keep watching Windbreaker. His eyes are glassed over, as he appears to be in deep thought. His chewed-up Bic pen is slipping out of his hand, and I catch it before it hits the floor. As I hand it to him, he looks at me and whispers a barely audible "Thank you." Then he turns away and goes back to his own world.
  The train stops at Addison, and Windbreaker puts away his notebook. He half smiles at me and nods his head as he gets off. The doors close and the train leaves him. I wonder to myself what will become of this note taker.All I did was catch his pen, but I feel as if that's the most human contact he's had in a good while. As I ponder what motivates men like him to go on, the train approaches Jefferson Park. As I get up, I notice the man across the aisle staring at my New Balance shoes.

I didn't know how to end this.

There's only so much masturbating a guy can do before he starts to question his own sanity. Or so I've heard, I'm not the type of guy to do that sort of thing. I got Mr. Johnson blown off by an IED in Afghanistan, so I haven't got much to say on the subject. But heroin can be pretty stressful. So if jerking it is anything similar to heroin then yeah, that shit can be pretty crazy.
 I fell down a well when I was a kid. My parents say that afterwards I was never the same. I was three. Who the fuck was I before I fell? How sophisticated could I have been at 3 years old that could change so dramatically? I know I did have a curiosity with fire after that, maybe that's what they're talking about. But that's more an addition than a change in my personality. 
 I fucking hate it here. Los Angles. The shittiest place in the world. But it's tough to live anywhere else as a porn star. I can't really be in any videos if I don't live somewhere in So. Cal. Now, I know what you're thinking: "How the hell does this guy do porn without a dick?" 
 I wish I had an answer for you that I understood. Allegedly, not having a dick is a fetish for some women (and men). All I have to do is take off my pants and dance around all sexy-like for a little while. Then they give me money. Usually like $15,000. I know, right? It's the only career I could get coming out of the army. I've got buddies from the service that can't find work anywhere. Doctors, pilots and college graduates are hard pressed to even find an interview, but the guy without a dick? He makes $75,000 a year making porn. This is the country I fought for.

New Years Revolution

fuck you I'm doing this

1. Read more frequently. (I.E. Everyday)

• On the Road
• The Last Picture Show
• Among the Thugs
• The Things They Carried
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
• Eliminate All Brutes
• Trainspotters
• Great Expectations
• Grantland
• The Words Of Gandhi
• Invisible Man

2. Write everyday.

• Write Two more episodes of "Uncle Dad"
• Finish "Happiness"
• Complete a journal.

3. Improve your GPA

4. Get a 31 or higher on the ACT

5. Stay in shape.

6. Watch less than an hour of TV a day, and fewer than 2 hours of internet for entertainment a day.

7. Speak less frequently.Choose your words wisely.

8.Fuck bitches.

9.Get money.

10. See more classic movies.

Infinity

 Infinity is a tricky subject. Of course, it can be explained in a few sentences, but that's not really doing the concept justice. Proof of infinity does not exist. It cannot be proven, and it will not be proven. Each one of us is just an extension of the theory, but none of us will ever know if there is something that doesn't end.
 Of course, we can say that math is infinite. But there is no proof of that. How many among us can tell us what comes after quintillion? If the Universe is not ever expanding, as theorized by many scientists, then math cannot be ever expanding. Numbers could possibly have a limit.
 But here's where it gets tricky. This debate, the one that is being brought up right now, could go on forever. Because one cannot prove that infinity doesn't exist, unless we reach an end, and that is unlikely. 
 Just thoughts that were had today. Hopefully they made sense.

Bothersome

 Please don't look at me. Please don't listen to me. Please don't care about me. There's nothing I can do for you, so don't ask anything of me. I am not your messiah, I am not a deity. The pressure to perform is too great for me to do anything but disappoint people. 
 The wind that rustles your hair knocks me down and drags me for miles. The sun that tans your skin burns holes that melt my bones. I am weak, I am bruised and I am ignorant. Why do you keep asking me to do things for you? You're triple the person that I am, why do you look to me for help?
 You go to work, you go drive in your car and you sleep in my bed. Each day, you ignore my change cup, then go home and pray to me. You're quite curious, because you can't seem to figure out what's bothering you

Problems

  What lies ahead of you is not to be feared. It is to be conquered, dominated and straddled. It is love and it is hate, it is struggle and it is ease. What lies ahead of you will not be easy, but what lies ahead of you will make you stronger. When you get past it, you will be a completely different person.
 There are kids on the other side of the world that haven't had a meal in their entire lives as big as what you ate for breakfast while walking out the door today. You are very lucky. You have every asset on your side. No problem you face will be insurmountable. Fires, storms and deaths are all a part of the process.
 That being said, do not waste your life acquiring problems. Just because they are all fixable does not mean you should spend your life fixing other's for them. Ask yourself:"Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be?" Know what you want to do before you do it.
 The world is full of many things, good and bad. If you let them all consume you, each day will become extremely difficult. Absorb these things that make up our world, and let them teach you. Keep in mind, however, that there is no worse dedication than blind faith.
 These broken paragraphs you have just read come from a dim-witted high school student. He doesn't plan to do much with his life, other than be happy.